Blog by escorts: Lina - Boundaries
Before starting an adventure as an escort, I advise every girl to first DYOR, which means Do Your Own Research. Start looking for info on how to start, what is needed, think about financial goals, what is the reason you want to start, etc. The internet is our friend; you can find endless blogs, videos and tutorials about this subject, by other peers or professionals. Take what serves you, be critical, adapt it to your country legislations and make your own opinion what is valuable for you. But most of all, listen to your heart, and be honest to yourself.
In this article, I want to talk about boundaries. These can be very different per escort, but I think it is
something that we all should think about beforehand and be aware of. And this time I am not talking about boundaries in the bedroom, sexual preferences, red flags or services we are willing or not to provide. How many times we get asked do you accept anal play (which could be another topic for a
blog). And you probably know that answer straight away for yourself. No this time, I am talking about values and rules that you want to apply for yourself about doing this job. What are you willing to accept, and when is someone, in your eyes, crossing the line?
When I started, I had 3 boundaries in mind. Rules that I wanted apply and where of great meaning to me. I explicitly call them hard boundaries; this means that they are a point of no return. If somebody would violate them, I would not want to see that person again. I will go through them one by one. After some time in the industry, I added a 4th and a 5th boundary.
1) Never ask my real name
I get itchy if a client asks what my real name is. I find it offensive and disrespectful towards
me. Oké, I can more or less comprehend it from their side, you are curious and it slips out of
your mouth. But gentlemen, a good advice, next time this question crosses your mind, just
bite your tongue! And ask yourself the question: why would you want to know? What will it
change? Will you have a different experience with your provider if you know her real name?
Also, bear in mind that we choose another name for a reason. For our security and safety
mostly. Doing this job still enhances a lot of stigma. We choose to do it, but not the people
around us and we normally still have a ‘normal’ life besides our escort job. And a lot of times
we escorts we have 2 different lives, and even our surroundings don’t know what we are
doing. We have normal jobs, we have a family, parents, sometimes children. We want to
protect them. Having another name makes the difference between our both lives, and keeps
in a way our own sanity. I am Lina and I am… It makes things easier to handle.
2) Never fall in love
It never happened to me. But I still apply this rule. I must admit that I met men that I was sad
that I didn’t met them in my normal life. Because we got along real well, they could be my
real friends, or potentially even more. But since I saw them as Lina, I banned that thought
straight from my mind. I hear stories of colleagues were this did happen, and it just makes it
3) Never negotiate my prices
This a big no-go. We think it thoroughly through when we do our price setting, so why would we change it? We are not goods on the markets that you bargain for. Asking for a discount, a lower price that is stated on the website, is not showing how much you value our services. The price is for the time you spend with us, not for the activities that happen within that timeframe. Neither
does your experience on the time spend together will be a reason to ask for a discount the
next time or even worse a reimbursement.
4) Never penetrate without a condom
Do I even need to mention this one. Unfortunately there are clients that still try this. Especially in the doggy-style sex position, they will try to take the condom off. For me this a a reason to end our time immediately. Know that this act, is now also considered officially as rape, and you can get sued for that.
5) Never spend too much time outside the arranged time
In this case I am not talking about going overtime during an actual date. Normally a
gentlemen will understand that you will respect the timeframe that you both agreed on
seeing each other. I am talking about ‘staying in touch’ before or after already seeing each
other. I found myself in the beginning often spending a hell a lot of my time in mailing back
and forth and being in constant communication with someone. I thought I needed to do it,
let’s call it client retention. But this is not feasible in the long turn. It is very needed to have
clear boundaries on how and how much a client can contact you. If he needs more contact-
time, outside a face-to-face date, you can propose a virtual girlfriend paid rate.
Much love, Lina